While you're peaceful and you feel that no one can touch you, somebody appears and says a sentence that halves you. Cracks you like a watermelon. Collapses you like a tower of cards.
You're aware, and you do not want to let it penetrate deep, because you know it's not yours. You know that negativity must always attack from somewhere. And it found the way again, just when you least expected it.
And no matter how much you don't allow it to enter and you think you are immune, it slowly expands and penetrates into something deep inside you, where it says "Do not touch". Only this part of yourself you can not touch. But it just decided to penetrate there. And then you dare to let it get in there, to open that hidden box because you know deeply that nothing terrible can happen to you, and to look at what is hiding in that part that you stored deep inside yourself, that you buried a long time ago. You thought it's not there anymore, but it still lies there.
At first glance, everything is so dark. But you're only observing it and you are not judging. There is only weight and pain, one after another ... each one is worse than the previous one. You do not know what to do with it. You are just watching. All right, just let it get out and get rid of it. You realize that none of this is yours, none of this is what you really are. You feel that you are protected and the challenge is to go even deeper, at the very core of everything.
You can not believe how much is now coming to the surface and how much you kept inside, unconsciously. You dare to look at each and every feeling directly into its eyes and accept that it was once there, that it had deep roots, and you are letting it go because you no longer need it. It's not you and it's not yours. It used to sit in you, and you dare to call it part of yourself.
Negative thoughts appear and they want to spice up the situation further, you are just being conscious and you're letting them go. They are not part of you either. They are not the truth either. Let them, just let them go.
And as you are becoming aware of each emotion and thought and letting it go, you feel lighter. You let the light enter into this previously dark place. You know that essentially as a being you do not carry anything else but love. You're spending some time with that beautiful feeling.
And while you're looking back, you're returning that sentence to that person. You realize that neither these words are wrong, nor that this person is guilty, or that you are guilty. However, you do not return the sentence to that person with hatred, because he did not consciously know what it triggers in you.
You are grateful to that person because if those words hadn't provoke this situation, the dark box would still be there, hidden from all eyes, and even yours. Maybe you would never become aware of it.
You learn something new about yourself and discover yourself, and day by day, you become more conscious and stronger. Every situation is YOU. We are all mirrors.
Being a human with a calm mind all the time is not so easily possible. But to know how to bring it back and become peaceful again is the skill. And above all, a practice.
And you are no longer ashamed of saying that you are imperfect, that there are days when you are not in peace. And you break the expectations of many and break the image of you that some have.
And you write all this because you know that somebody is going to fight someday tomorrow too with something that has long been suppressed in them.
Just be aware and let them one by one fall away from you. Dare to look deep into yourself.
As my beloved Mohanji says, take the time to know yourself.
You're the only book you need to read in this life.
An old video that tells a lot ...
